


trending now

by decaf and sleep (kohiii), iShip (milktea_s)



Category: Vampire Knight (Anime & Manga)
Genre: F/F, M/M, Social Media AU, The Bachelor AU, most things happen off screen, outdated memes, written by two people who have no idea how either of those work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-27
Updated: 2019-09-27
Packaged: 2020-10-28 23:44:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20787032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kohiii/pseuds/decaf%20and%20sleep, https://archiveofourown.org/users/milktea_s/pseuds/iShip
Summary: this season, kuran kaname is The Bacheloror, the social media x bachelor au no one asked for(inspired by kaname's line in canon -- "you're scary, mr. prefect.")





	trending now

**Author's Note:**

> special thanks to millktea_s, who doesn't even ship kaze but helped me co-write this piece

**THE BACHELOR BUT KURAN IS GAY **

**#welcome**

[9:57] **stfu i'm sleeping**: Hello! If you've dropped by this discord then you've probably seen the most recent episode of The Bachelor where Kuran Kaname <strike>proved he is definitely gay for that super cute cameraman</strike> had a certain interaction with one of the cameramen! ;) 

[9:57] **stfu i'm sleeping**: Anyways, feel free to ping any of the mods (@mods-aka-gods) if you have any questions. Otherwise, come on in and have a chat with us! 

[9:57] **stfu i'm sleeping**: Before I forget -- we're a pretty relaxed server, but we do have rules! 

  1. Please keep nsfw stuff in the #nsfw channel. 
  2. Be courteous and respectful of others.
  3. Don't be an ass. :blobkittenknife: 

**# general**

[9:59] **stfu i'm sleeping**: I WILL SAIL THIS SHIP MYSELF EVEN IF NO ONE ELSE DOES 

[10:01] **murdered-by-canon**: lol i can't believe you created a server just for this

[10:01] **stfu i'm sleeping**: akdflajskfd you joined too!! D< 

[10:01] **murdered-by-canon**: yeah because you wouldn't stop bugging me about it 

→ A wild **aaaEEEaaooo** appeared! 

[10:01] **stfu i'm sleeping**: someone actually joined!! \ o /

[10:02] **aaaEEEaaooo**: Hello! I saw your tweet and couldn't believe someone else also shipped it too! 

[10:02] **stfu i'm sleeping**: YES!

[10:02] **stfu i'm sleeping**: I'M JUST WAITING FOR KANAME TO DROP TO ONE KNEE AND PROPOSE TO THAT CAMERAMAN ANY DAY NOW. 

[10:02] **stfu i'm sleeping**: ok maybe not that dramatic but i mean c'mon

[10:02] **stfu i'm sleeping**: he's clearly not interested in any of the candidates 

[10:02] **stfu i'm sleeping**: (also lowkey highkey sure that some of those ladies joined just so they could get close to kaname's sister like have you seen how sara was flirting with yuuki all last episode??) 

[10:03] **aaaEEEaaooo**: Actually though -- 

[10:03] **aaaEEEaaooo**: They were just off in their own world while ignoring Kaname :joy: 

[10:03] **murdered-by-canon**: o shit that's cute. i ship it 11/10

[10:03] **aaaEEEaaooo**: Does anyone actually know the name of that cameraman though ? :eyes:

[10:03] **aaaEEEaaooo**: (asking for a friend) 

[10:03] **stfu i'm sleeping**: lmaoooooooo

[10:04] **stfu i'm sleeping**: you and me both ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

* * *

**i ship it!!!!** @whats_sleep

someone come join me and @nejitenrights in our discord gdi (discord.gg/OWOUWU)

[kaname.jpg][hotcameraman.jpg] 

11:56 AM ⋅ Nov 4 ⋅ Twitter for iPhone 

0 Retweets 0 Likes

* * *

**garbo island** @callmetrash

yooo this week's bachelor episode is /spicy/ #TheBachelor #MysteryCameraman

[video] 

9:38 PM ⋅ Nov 7 ⋅ Twitter for iPhone 

5.8k Retweets 7.6k Likes

**garbo island** @callmetrash ⋅ 3h

Replying to @callmetrash

seriously though can anyone read lips here or anything I NEED TO KNOW WHAT THEY'RE SAYING TO EACH OTHER!!!!!!! 

**anonymous hedgehog** @alwayswip ⋅ 3h

Replying to @callmetrash

MY MOMENT HAS COME. CONFIRMED KURAN IS 100% GAY FOR THAT CAMERAMAN HE SAID "THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY LIFE MR. CAMERAMAN" AKJSDFLS JUST LOOK AT THAT SMIRK 

**don't forget to stay hydrated** @asfdsfdsfdsfs ⋅ 3h

Replying to @callmetrash

OK I could be wrong here but I'm 100% sure he's proposing

**pika @ dms are open** @ surprised__pika ⋅ 3h

Replying to @callmetrash and @asfdsfdsfdsfs

that can't be right, they skipped the awkward flirting and gay panic stage

**stop sleeping on that cute cameraman** @whats_sleep ⋅ 2h

Replying to @callmetrash 

@nejitenrights MY SHIP! IS SAILING! AHHHHHHHHH! I TOLD YOU IT WAS A THING!

**canon was wrong fite me** @nejitenrights ⋅ 2h

Replying to @whats_sleep

:thinking: you're really into this i'm happy you found something you're so passionate about :joy:

**get pancaked** @yOurMoM69 ⋅ 1h

Replying to @callmetrash

eye sex lol

* * *

[video]

LEAKED BACHELOR FOOTAGE!! | "THANK YOU FOR SAVING MY LIFE, MR. CAMERAMAN"

650,053 views ⋅ Nov 10 33K likes 2k dislikes

Pinned by NOTHING TO SEE HERE

**NOTHING TO SEE HERE** 1 day ago (edited) 

Leaked footage showing what exactly happened when the cast of The Bachelor fell into the lake, including the viral moment between one of the cameramen and _ the _ bachelor himself, Kaname Kuran! 

edit; holy shit guys I never expected this to get so many views thanks! 

10k likes 0 dislikes REPLY

**Johann Sebastian Bach** 16 hours ago

This is against God's will. A man should never lie with a man. I pray for Mr. Kaname Kuran, that this demon possessing him may be exorcised.

127 likes 15 dislikes REPLY

**Hide replies **

** rngesus** 14 hours ago

Bach keeping up with The _ Bach_elor :thinking: 

306 likes 7 dislikes REPLY

** bob** 10 hours ago 

Keeping up with Bachelor, but not with the times, it seems.

26 likes 1 dislikes REPLY

** The Reaper** 10 hours ago

lmao are you dumb or something 

0 likes 0 dislikes REPLY

** Angelica Jordan** 5 hours ago

I think it flew right over his head

0 likes 0 dislikes REPLY

** Fuck tr*mp **2 hours ago

@Johann Sebastian Bach fuck you

0 likes 0 dislikes REPLY

** Samuel BIG BRAIN** 2 hours ago

@Johann Sebastian Bach Bachhhhh?? Is that you???

0 likes 0 dislikes REPLY

**Creative Name Here** 6 hours ago

I don't get why everyone is freaking out this is obviously fake lol

12 likes 0 dislikes REPLY

**View 15 replies **

**No.1 Fan** 3 hours ago

Yuuki at 1:08 is HOT

64 likes 0 dislikes REPLY

**Hide replies **

** it lit fam **3 hours ago

guys i think we found sara's account

10 likes 0 dislikes REPLY

* * *

**THE BACHELOR BUT KURAN IS GAY **

**# general**

→ Never gonna give **AlexaPlayDespacito** up. Never gonna let **AlexaPlayDespacito** down. 

→ Challenger approaching - **ohshititme** appeared!

[6:53] **stfu i'm sleeping**: welcome, welcome! 

[6:53] **stfu i'm sleeping**: i can't believe we have so many new people i'm so proud ; w ; 

[7:01] **AlexaPlayDespacito**: Whos ready for the new episode tonight??!! 

[7:01] **stfu i'm sleeping**: YES! I JUST WANT TO SEE MY GAY SONS BE HAPPY 

[7:01] **ohshititme**: heya guys! any plans for a viewing party for tonight's episode? 

[7:02] **stfu i'm sleeping**: :heart_eyes: 

[7:02] **stfu i'm sleeping**: i'm down!! group call? 

[7:02] **murdered-by-canon**: i can't believe your crack ship came true 

[7:02] **murdered-by-canon**: wtf 

[7:02] **murdered-by-canon**: when do my crack ships get to come true this isn't fair????

[7:03] **AlexaPlayDespacito**: Lol 

[7:03] **murdered-by-canon**: :angry:

→ **b.o.b.a.** just showed up. Hold my beer.

[7:04] **b.o.b.a.**: ayyyy someone say kaname x cameraman? 

[7:04] **murdered-by-canon**: oh yooo i like boba too

[7:04]** b.o.b.a.**: boba or b.o.b.a.? ;) 

[7:05] **stfu i’m sleeping**: yes

* * *

r/TheBachelor ⋅ posted by u/redditor4564 1 hour ago

**We found him! #MysteryCameraman**

[Mr. Cameraman] [Season 5]

[image.png] 

So we've seen a lot of speculation about who the #MysteryCameraman is, but Nadeshiko (u/ShindoDoodles) confirmed that our mystery cameraman is, in fact, none other than wildlife photographer Kiryuu Zero. As you can see from Nadeshiko's picture of her yearbook, she went to the same high school as him! 

According to Nadeshiko, Zero was always interested in photography and -- you won't believe this. _ His twin is none other than famous rookie model, Kiryuu Ichiru! _ Apparently Zero acted as Ichiru's photographer while Ichiru was still an amateur, can you believe that? 

The real question is how Zero went from his photography to being a cameraman for The Bachelor. But Nadeshiko also has a theory for that. Can you guess who else also went to the same high school as Zero and Ichiru and was friends with the twins? 

_ Kuran Yuuki. _

(Anyone else thinking that Yuuki's been cooking up some long, drawn-out plot to get her brother and best friend together?)

23 Comments Give Award Share Save Hide Report

[-] **itssofluffy** 3 points ⋅ 54 minutes ago

holy shit!!! no way? i was in the same school district omg

[-] **glhf** 16 points ⋅ 54 minutes ago

does this guy even use social media? I tried looking him up and it's like he's a ghost

[-] **kasuumi **1 point ⋅ 46 minutes ago

Zero isn't a big fan of social media! He has his online portfolio, but I think that's it. 

[-] **saaayas** 8 points ⋅ 43 minutes ago

ok but i just checked ichiru's insta and FUCKING JACKPOT

* * *

**godokamis**

[gif] [gif] 

[gif] [gif] 

[gif] [gif] 

make me choose: @kanekiis asked → <strike>sarayuuki</strike> or kanamezero

59,638 notes Share Reply Reblog Like

#i have nothing against sarayuuki #but BUT #kanamezero!!!!!!!! #kaze?? #kanazero? #kiryuukuran?? #whatever their ship name is #oHMY GOD #it’s canon #you can't tell me otherwise #i just SCREAMED #AOTJalskdfj #the way kaname looks at zero #is so #SOFT #and zero just blushing #like a blUSHING BRIDE #they're so getting married #i'm dead #i’ve ASCENDED #you will pry this ship out of my cold dead hands

* * *

**Yuuki Kuran**

[picture]

like comment share

**10,639 likes**

**Yuuki Kuran** look at these dorks

View all 983 comments

**whats_sleep** hhh LOOK AT THIS @nejitenrights

** nejitenrights** @whats_sleep hot

5 hours ago

* * *

**THE BACHELOR BUT KURAN IS GAY **

**# general**

[8:55] **stfu i'm sleeping**: OKAY EVERYONE GET IN THE GROUP CALL 

[8:55] **stfu i'm sleeping**: THE BACHELOR FINAL EPISODE VIEWING PARTY STARTS IN 5!!

[8:55] **stfu i'm sleeping**: i can't believe we're already at the end of the journey 

[8:57] **aaaEEEaaooo**: oh no D: 

[8:57] **aaaEEEaaooo**: i can't join because my housemates are already sleeping 

[8:57] **gay is my middle name**: rip :/ 

[8:57] **gay is my middle name**: just stay in chat with us then? 

[8:57] **murdered-by-canon**: ye you can just listen in

[9:00] **stfu i'm sleeping**: IT 

[9:00] **stfu i'm sleeping**: IS 

[9:00] **stfu i'm sleeping**: STARTING 

[9:00] **stfu i'm sleeping**: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

[9:00] **murdered-by-canon**: oh god ok prepare for the fangirling

[9:00] **murdered-by-canon**: also aren't we in a voice call for a reason

[9:00] **murdered-by-canon**: why are we still typing lol

[9:01] **stfu i'm sleeping**: WE NEED RECEIPTS OF THIS GLORIOUS NIGHT

[9:01] **kaze = endgame**: ^ 

[9:01] **kaze = endgame**: Can't wait for Kaname to give Zero the final rose 

[9:01] **aaaEEEaaooo**: IT'S HERE . HE'S HERE 

[9:01] **ohshititme**: GUYS 

[9:01]** aaaEEEaaooo**: !!!!!

[9:04] **stfu i'm sleeping**: rip ruka 

[9:04] **stfu i'm sleeping**: i mean i'm still rooting for kaze but you gotta feel bad for her too 

[9:04] **stfu i'm sleeping**: she tried her best!! 

[9:05] **murdered-by-canon**: ok ngl i'm HERE for that sarayuuki, give my girls some screentime pls

[9:06] **stfu i'm sleeping**: !!!!!!

[9:06] **stfu i'm sleeping**: here we gooooooooooo

* * *

**The Bachelor** @TheBachelorOfficial

And the final rose goes to...what's this, an unexpected twist? :rose: #TheBachelor #KaZe

10:32 PM ⋅ Nov 23 ⋅ Sprinklr 

53k Retweets 39.7k Likes

* * *

**THE BACHELOR BUT KURAN IS GAY **

**# general**

[10:17] **aaaEEEaaooo**: I SCREAMED OMG 

[10:17] **aaaEEEaaooo**: I SAW THAT KANAME

[10:17] **aaaEEEaaooo**: he thinks he's so subtle but everyone can see he’s totally making eyes at zero

[10:40] **ohshititme**: :eyes:

[10:40] **ECKS DEE**: DID ANYONE SEE THE BACHELOR'S TWEET

[10:40] **ECKS DEE**: THEY ACTUALLY USED THE #KAZE TAG 

[10:41] **stfu i'm sleeping**: HOLY FUCK IT'S CANON :eyes: :eyes: :eyes: :heart_eyes:

[10:42] **murdered-by-canon**: how is it that your ships get to be canon and half of mine end up dead

[10:42] **AlexaPlayDespacito**: :regional_indicator_f:

[10:43] **murdered-by-canon**: ok but actually this is cute

[10:44] **murdered-by-canon**: society can take its heteronormative standards and shove it

[10:44] **murdered-by-canon**: i mean u h

[10:46] **gay is my middle name**: let it be known that i called this from the very first episode

[10:47] **stfu i'm sleeping**: i'm so proud everyone ; w ; 

[10:47] **stfu i'm sleeping**: it's been an incredible journey 

[10:47] **stfu i'm sleeping**: we went from two people trying to keep this canoe afloat to this!! 

[10:47] **stfu i'm sleeping**: special shout out to @murdered-by-canon, who stayed with us despite not being a kaze shipper :heart: 

* * *

**Yuuki Kuran**

[picture]

tagged -- Kaname Kuran, Sara Shirabuki

like comment share

**24,873 likes**

**Yuuki Kuran** so impossibly happy right now #blessed #KaZe

View all 1805 comments

**hina0917** sarayuuki and kanamezero in one photo? my eyes have been blessed

**whats_sleep** @nejitenrights ay yo your ship is finally canon and not dead

** nejitenrights** @whats_sleep adlkjklgjLSKFJ FINALLY

**strawberrii_ **oh that's a pretty dress. also where's this boba shop?

11 hours ago

**Author's Note:**

> i can't believe i've been shipping kaze for eight years and this is the first fic i write.


End file.
